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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701264">Of a wavering heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/komorykatt/pseuds/komorykatt'>komorykatt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tales of Crestoria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Violence, Corruption, Headcanon, Heavy Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trauma, a fun aegis-centric exploration of blood sins :)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:01:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27701264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/komorykatt/pseuds/komorykatt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You wanna own your sin, or you wanna let it own you?”</p><p>It was a question Aegis had answered all too readily, and all too foolishly. He reached for the futile resolve like a wilted blossom seeking the light of day, damning the demons that strangled his lungs beneath an oath sworn upon a blighted lance. The putrid weapon forged of his sins curled in unsteady fingers breathed life anew into him, and the promise of its bloodied justice hid the consequences of wielding it with all the certainty of a wavering heart.</p><p>When his travels lead Aegis and his companions to again skirt the edges of the Kingdom of Medagal, the half-hearted resolve he had thoughtlessly pledged on that fated day will be pushed to its limits. A nefarious plot orchestrated by shades of his past unfurls around him, and the fury of a stained knight's sin stands center-stage.</p><p>May the devil at his back catch the young sinner's fall.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aegis Alver &amp; Kanata Hjuger, Aegis Alver/Vicious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of a wavering heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi welcome to Aegis Has A Bad Time: The Fic! We're only 6 chapters into this game but here I am with a plot and lore heavy multichap fic because I love aegis alver SO much, and I'm absolutely beyond thrilled to be finally kicking off this idea since I've been thinking about it for months now!!!</p><p>Just a general disclaimer that this fic is going to be delving into theories and headcanons about Crestoria's lore so this may well become inaccurate or dated before completion. The fic was entirely plotted out around the release of chapter 5 and then officially started at the release of chapter 6, and regardless of whether future updates render any of those theorized lore elements obsolete, any changes to the fic's plot will only be minor adjustments at most and still carried out as planned since I'm really excited to tell this story. Also a note that this is intended to be a little further into the story (plot and Orwins existence aside) to the point that the group's spent quite some time together by now and Vicious/Aegis is vaguely Established in their messy way of they like to kiss sometimes.</p><p>With that in mind I hope you stick around and enjoy the ride! 💕</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Is somezing ze matter, Aegrouch? You ‘ave been quiet all afternoon.”</p><p>The air was still as stone. No birds soared overhead in painted blue skies to sing their songs to the people below, and no wind blew rustling through the many trees that lined the horizon. The only sound was the crackle of swaying flames, the firewood popping as it splintered and gave way to ashes, and the concerned voice that slipped just past Aegis’s awareness.</p><p>The question drifted over him and faded into the murmur of embers without so much as a budge from the solemn knight. Sunset hues of blazing orange and yellow reflected against distant eyes like clouded pieces of amber, their endless dance playing over his gaze the only trace of life left within them. Aegis stared intently into the fire pit, all the attention of his racing mind drawn in by the flame’s captivating waltz. His fingers curled around each other and he wrung his hands until his knuckles turned bone white, hard enough he could feel his pulse throb against his palms.</p><p>On all accounts, it was a peaceful afternoon. The mild weather bore the promise of spring in bloom, and sunbeams shined down unbiased even upon the band of forsaken transgressors below. The group had taken a midday break from their long travels to build a campfire along the outskirts of nearby woods. They sat gathered around the fire, watching as their freshly hunted game roasted over the hungry tongues of Misella’s flames.</p><p>Aegis could hear the banter of his comrades echoing a dull sound against his ears, and the scent of their soon-to-be-lunch wafted enticingly through his nostrils, but it meant nothing to him. None of it mattered in the slightest, even as his empty stomach growled and begged to be fed.</p><p>A breeze stirred through the still air. Aegis could feel as its fleeting chill passed over his cheek, reminding him that no matter how hard he prayed, he was wide awake. The reality he lived was no cruel nightmare that held him with fingers curled around his throat. He was close, <em>so terribly close</em> to that simple life he’d lost forever, and that fact was every bit as real as the wind that kissed his skin.</p><p>No matter which way he looked, familiar scenery closed in on him. Ahead laid the winding paths he had walked day in and day out on patrols. Behind him stretched the forest where he had tested his might against countless monsters as he ascended the ranks of the knights. And to his left and right streaked the merchant’s routes that lead into the very heart of the crown city of Medagal.</p><p>Nowhere was safe, and his brain buzzed with each stinging sight. His only sanctum was deep within the devouring embers that held his gaze like a vice. He stared into their depths, where memories of that coveted life he once lived raged behind the flame's fury. The life where he still knew right from wrong like he knew the back of his hand, and everything made <em>sense</em> to him.</p><p>But that righteous life had slipped through his fingers like sand at the whims of a king's crooked smile and a pure woman's blood forever staining his flesh. They had skewered him upon the heavy cross of sin and left him to bleed, ever-dangling over the fragile line of justice and lofty ideals.</p><p>The kingdom he had sworn his life to— the beloved kingdom that <em>condemned him</em>— was hardly a few miles away, and he would sooner dive into the beseeching flames than choose to spend another second so close to it.</p><p>“<em>Aeeegrouch?</em> Can you ‘ear me in zere?” </p><p>Aegis felt movement encroaching on him before he realized Yuna’s voice was ringing in his ears. His attention snapped to her approaching figure, so fast it made her stop dead in her tracks. The spell of flames was broken, but the fire remained burning in Aegis’s eyes as he ran her through with a single glare. </p><p>“For the last time, I told you to stop calling me that,” he said, sharper than a blade pressed to her throat. He pulled his shoulders up tense and the crumbled walls that had once guarded him so well rose again, higher than any castle towers touched by the clouds above. </p><p>Yuna’s smile pulled thinly at her mouth and she took a step backwards, lest those fragile walls come tumbling down on her with one wrong move. Her head dipped to the ground and she clutched her arm as though wounded. “You are ever so cruel to me, <em>mon amie</em>… I was only worried for you. I fear you may snap right in ‘alf if you get any stiffer zan you already are.”</p><p>Her theatrics flew right under his normally precise radar, and Aegis sucked in a breath. “M-My apologies, that was out of line—”</p><p>A dainty hand lifted to touch her lips and a faint trill of laughter escaped through the space between her fingertips. “Relax, ‘twas only a tease,” and she waved her other hand until Aegis caught on, and the guilt in his eyes retreated into the somber shadow that clouded them. “But my concern for you is ze truth. Cheer up, would you? Our meal is almost ready.”</p><p>“Right…” Aegis mumbled his response, squeezing his fingers tighter until his hands laid trembling in his lap. His brow creased, and he returned his attention to the dancing fire without another word.</p><p>“If you don’t want your portion, I’ll be happy to eat it for you.” A head of pink leaned in from across their makeshift campsite, entering his vision amid the flames she so adored. Misella eyed him like a predator sizing up her prey— or rather, sizing up his delectable share of their spoils from the morning hunt.</p><p>“Misella, you can’t steal Aegis’s food! He needs that! He already looks pale enough as it is.” Kanata pulled Misella back into her seat with a hand upon her shoulder, and she relented after grumbling a complaint only the boy at her side could hear. “You really look horrible, Aegis. Have you been eating enough lately? Sleeping well?”</p><p>An elbow connected harshly with his ribcage before Aegis could respond, nearly knocking him off his seat.</p><p>“The kid’s right. Little knight’s gotta eat his meat if he wants t’be in tip-top shape,” Vicious jeered at him. He could feel the harsh edges of cut amethyst eyes digging into him from the man seated beside him. He was surely wearing that signature grin full of too many teeth, but Aegis didn’t raise his head to meet his gaze. </p><p>“Aegis? Are you sure you’re okay?” Kanata’s rising concern made his stomach twist in knots. Aegis hesitated a minute longer, then released a long sigh he’d held trapped in his lungs for what felt like hours on end.</p><p>“I’m <em>fine</em>,” he insisted, even though he was trying to convince himself just as much as he was his companions. “It’s been a long time since we last traveled along Medagal’s borders, and it has me a little on edge. That’s all.”</p><p>“Oh yeah… we haven’t been around here since…” The boy’s words died early on his tongue, but he’d already said more than enough. Aegis’s body drew stiff again, and he forced his head to move mechanically through a half-hearted nod.</p><p>Since the day the code he lived by shattered in useless, shaking hands. Since the day his king turned his blade upon him and the woman he vowed and <em>failed</em> to protect. Since the day his queen fell broken in his arms, and breathed her last against his dishonest skin. </p><p>No one needed a reminder of that gruesome day, least of all Aegis.</p><p>Those violet eyes plunged deeper into his flesh, twisting like a blade in his gut until he felt he’d surely bleed out. The hearty laugh that followed was like salt in the wound, and Aegis finally raised his head to look at Vicious with a wilted glare that begged him to <em>stop</em>.</p><p>“You’re still hung up on that shit? It’s been months, ya gotta let it go.” Vicious carried on despite the plea written in Aegis’s stare. He clapped a hand harshly on his shoulder, but Aegis saw no hostility within that wide grin slashed from ear to ear.</p><p>“That’s not what I’m—” He began his stubborn protest, but he knew Vicious was right. He slumped in defeat, his shoulders going slack under Vicious's touch. “The people around these parts know me. They would not soon forget the sins that hang over my head, even after all the time that has passed. I feel as though I’m a walking target for trouble, and I would prefer to not get into any around here.”</p><p>To the people of Medagal, the virtuous commander Sir Aegis Alver was long dead, and he intended to keep it as such.</p><p>From across the fire Kanata smiled at him, as warm as the orange glow that framed the curve of his cheeks. “You don’t need to worry so much, we’re only passing through the area. Nothing bad’s gonna happen!”</p><p>“Zat’s right. You can rest easy once Medagal is long be’ind us,” Yuna added, without a hint of theatrics behind the curl of her lips.</p><p>Aegis looked around at the fond faces of his companions, each offering their own sort of support to the wayward knight. As skewed as some of their ideas of compassion may be, he felt his nerves ease with the reassurance of their words, even if only a fraction. If nothing else, he was grateful to have comrades at his side this time around.</p><p>“I suppose you’re right. Thank you all.” He smiled back at them, and those towering walls lowered just enough to let a ray of light shine on his face.</p><p>From her quiet corner of the campsite, Misella finally lifted her head from the staring match she held with their roast. She rocked forward on her knees and knocked off Kanata’s loose hold on her, then turned her stare to rest squarely on Aegis. “If you’re done complaining, can we eat now? The meat is ready.”</p><p>Misella was as blunt as usual, but the group had spent enough time together for Aegis to have convinced himself that it was merely her twisted way of showing concern; may that belief be accurate or not. He felt Vicious’s hand withdraw from his shoulder, and he glanced his way just in time to see him spring up on his feet.</p><p>“‘Bout damn time! I’m starvin’ over here!” he howled, and the echo of his belly laugh rumbled through Aegis's body.</p><p>In spite of all the putrid feelings that stirred in his chest, their afternoon lunch was still so terribly <em>normal</em>. Familiar roads he’d walked countless times before haunted Aegis’s conscience, but at the heart of them sat the transgressors he called his allies, bustling with life undisturbed. </p><p>He watched as Misella removed the meat from the fire and Kanata cut it into five generous portions of steak— skimping on his own portion to cut a noticeably thicker piece for their meat-obsessed pyro, guilty as charged. The two youngest of their group passed the meals around, and Kanata wore a proud smile as he handed a plate off to Aegis first.</p><p>He looked down at the delectable meal set in his lap, and all he felt was a distant memory of <em>family </em>squeezing at his heart. </p><p>His own family was nearly as much within his reach as the crown city he had cherished dearly; only a few miles due south and down a twisting path through the woods he knew so well. The closeness to a home he could never return to only added to the ache that pervaded him, but perhaps in that moment, he could be satisfied with the feigned sort of family seated in their messy circle all around him.</p><p><em>Nothing bad will happen. You can rest easy,</em> Aegis recited the mantra until he believed it, as the food that felt so warmly of home sat untouched on his lap.</p><p>“Ya better eat up. Got a long road ahead of us if ya wanna get outta here by sundown.” Vicious leaned into Aegis’s space, jabbing his finger at his plate to rouse him from his thoughts. Aegis looked at him, then back to his meal, and the complaint that rumbled in his stomach was loud enough for the both of them to hear. </p><p>The lull of soundless banter coiled around him as Aegis reluctantly joined in their feast. Laughter dripped from his companion’s lips with jokes shared between them, but his remained pulled thin. He paid little mind to what was said, eating quietly and nodding along with a painted smile to deflect the stray glances that would sometimes peer his way. He picked at his food, each bite smaller than the last, but it was enough to pretend he felt fine; to ignore those damning worries that encircled his mind and enjoy his lunch.</p><p>Aegis was barely halfway through his steak when a noise shattered that little slice of peace he held in such delicate hands.</p><p>Something clanged in the distance, followed by a clatter, and a stomp, and a relentless click-clanking that sparked dreadful lightning down Aegis’s spine. It was faint and far away, yet it rang in his ears just as deafening as his skyrocketing heart. His head darted to the source of the sound, wide eyes scanning the area. </p><p>His eyes shot left, then right, then left again, until a wave of familiar blue crested over the horizon.</p><p>Aegis knew that shade all too well. They were the very same colors he still wore bereft of any honor, of any knightly code— a disgrace against whatever virtuous knight that might behold him. The distant silhouettes of his former squadron took shape, their weapons drawn and ready as they approached their forsaken commander who made his home among vile criminals of Medagal.</p><p>His plate fell from his hands and clattered to the ground. He jumped to his feet, fists clenched and breath caught in his throat.</p><p>“A-Aegis, what’s wrong?!” Someone shouted, sounding faintly of Kanata’s youthful pitch, but Aegis could hardly distinguish it under the pounding of his heart.</p><p>He wasn’t the only one who picked up on the sound. Vicious followed Aegis’s gaze and the edge of his lips curled into a smirk.</p><p>“Looks like we got company,” he said, and he rose beside his fallen knight. Foul crimson mana sparked in his hands, coalescing into the pistol forms of his blood sin. “Good timing. I’m itchin’ for a fight to work off that meal.”</p><p>Those words sent a shiver racing down Aegis’s spine. No, <em>no</em>— they <em>weren’t</em> starting a fight there. That was the complete <em>opposite </em>of not causing any trouble. </p><p>His hand snagged around the colors that opposed his, those harsh hues of crimson and midnight that mirrored the stain upon his breast pulsating in time with his pounding heart, and he <em>tugged</em>. </p><p>“<em>Haaah?</em>” Vicious lost his focus as Aegis’s hand hooked into the collar of his coat and yanked him off his balance, and his weapons dissolved into fading black sparks. Aegis hardly noticed as they disappeared, and his eyes darted around in search of an escape.</p><p>He couldn’t confront his men, not with words nor weapons drawn; not while his pulse hammered through his veins like a rabbit’s heart caught in the glinting eyes of a predator. He had to get out of their way, find somewhere to duck and hide, and hope they hadn’t yet noticed his colors laid stark against the band of transgressors.</p><p>The encompassing brush of the nearby forest was his only hope. He broke out into a run toward it, dragging the stupefied Great Transgressor behind him.</p><p>“Follow me. <b><em>Now!</em></b><strong><em>”</em></strong> Aegis had just enough clarity to bark an order over his shoulder to his baffled companions still seated. </p><p>They exchanged startled looks between themselves, but they hurried to their feet in his stead nonetheless. The three followed after Aegis and the captive Vicious, abandoning their half-finished meals with the still burning fire pit as the soldiers marched onward.</p><p>Once they were safely behind the cover of the forest, Vicious yanked himself out of Aegis’s unsteady grip. “Since when were you such a scaredy cat?! I was all ready to give them sorry knights one helluva show!”</p><p>His booming voice was like nails on a chalkboard. </p><p>“Would you please be <em>quiet?!”</em> Aegis hissed under his breath, shooting daggers at the boisterous man. “I told you, I want to get out of here without getting into any trouble!”</p><p>Aegis felt the eyes of his comrades all over him as he struggled to regain his composure and quell his heaving breaths, their piercing looks ranging from concern to annoyance and every emotion in between. No matter how hard he tried to ignore how they looked at him, it didn’t take away the sting.</p><p>“I wasn’t done eating yet. We should go out there and fight them so I can finish,” Misella said, her fingers curled with tongues of fire licking over their tips.</p><p>He merely grinded his teeth harder, and he felt the beginnings of a tension headache bloom behind his temple. He took a deep breath, held, then released in one drawn out blow. He didn’t have time for this; he had to see what the knights were up to, and make certain they passed through without any suspicion. The last thing they needed were Aegis’s former men trailing them in their travels. </p><p>“I’m going to keep an eye on them until they pass. Everyone just… stay put, will you?”</p><p>Mumbles of protest sounded against his request, but Aegis broke off from the group without another word shared between them. Leaves crunched beneath cautious footsteps as he crept alone toward the edges of the forest. He tucked his body behind the cover of a tree, then peered out at the trail. </p><p>There were more knights than he had initially noticed, easily an entire division of the Medagalian forces marching through the plains. They moved almost mechanically; each step taken in perfect time with the most flawless synchronization he’d ever seen. He felt the stomp of their boots quake through his whole body, their armor clanging in his bones.</p><p>
  <em>Something wasn’t right.</em>
</p><p>Their helmed heads were pointed ever-forward, rigid as a statue. They marched past the abandoned campsite, not a single knight breaking form to look at the fire left burning along the border of the woods a few feet away from them. None paid any mind to the unusual sight as they should have, as <em>any</em> person traveling the area should have. They marched on with their heads locked in place, as though they saw nothing past the road laid before them. </p><p>Aegis followed down the line of their march, and his blood turned to ice.</p><p>The knights were headed due south— so blatantly south it took all of Aegis’s self-control not to shout for them to stop. </p><p>Just <em>where</em> were they going? Why were they headed in that direction? What business could a troupe that large possibly have in the rural areas that lay south of the capital? His mind raced with questions, feverish worries turning over and over until his vision swam, his weak knees held up only by his palm splayed against the tree trunk.</p><p>Something burned against his chest like a hot branding iron pressed to his skin, centered right over his heart. He dug his fingers into the fabric of his uniform over his searing stain, his hand trembling with the rapid rise and fall of his chest. His eyes remained glued to the knights, and he traced the sight of their backs as they passed him by.</p><p>He couldn’t feel his own legs as they took a step outside the forest of their own accord, thoughtlessly following after the wake of his knights. Something was wrong, he knew that in his gut, and that feeling strung him along further out of the safety of the brush. He had to know what was going on, he <em>had</em> to know why they were headed toward his—</p><p>A bullet whizzed past Aegis’s cheek, a scarce few inches from grazing his skin, and the trance was broken.</p><p>“—Pull your head outta the clouds and get yer ass over here already!” Vicious’s shout rang out as Aegis watched his bullet sail far out of sight.</p><p>“<em>Aegis—!</em> We could use some help!” Kanata’s yell came after, and the fear shaking his voice prompted Aegis to finally look over his shoulder at his companions.</p><p>He saw them with their weapons drawn, facing off against a lone wolfish beast. The monster stood towering over them on its hindlegs with piercing yellow eyes and razor claws that swung at them, batting away their attacks as though they were nothing. Its howl rang deafeningly in Aegis’s ears; a wonder it was the first time he noticed its roars in the midst of what appeared to be a long battle.</p><p>Aegis looked at the legion of knights fading out of sight over the horizon, then back to his companions crying for his aid. The awful feeling that roiled in his gut kept him rooted in place, but he <em>knew</em> he couldn’t abandon his comrades. He couldn’t, he <em>couldn’t</em>, even as his legs ached to chase after the knights and his head pounded with frantic visions of every precious place their march could lead them to.</p><p>He watched as the last shade of familiar blue blended into the hues of the bright clear sky above, and he groaned as loud as he could.</p><p>Aegis spun on the ball of his heels back to his companions and angrily thrust his hand out to his side. He called on the foul mana of his blood sin that dwelt within him, and flecks of crimson black energy sparking against his palm answered him. Dark mana raced down his arm and gathered in his grip, burning hotter, and hotter, and <em>hotter</em>— hotter than he’d ever felt before.</p><p>Wavering Heart took shape between his fingers, and a sharp pang tore through Aegis’s chest. His grip turned rigid and a tremor racked his body. Throbbing pain swelled through each curl of the stain over his chest and spread to his shoulders, then down the length of his waist, stretching further and further through his body as the weapon came to life.</p><p>He ignored the ache through grit teeth, and he squeezed his blood sin tight. The spearhead glowed hot in response, just as bright blazing red as the anger that stirred in his heart. Then he charged into the fray.</p><p>He ran as fast as his legs would take him, his spear aimed at the beast’s prone hide. A million thoughts raced through his mind, the mana searing in his veins turning each fear red-hot, but he pushed those feelings down as far as he could. All that mattered was slaying the beast quickly so he could chase after those knights.</p><p>“<em>Away with you—!”</em> He growled deep in his throat, and the monster began to turn toward its unexpected enemy.</p><p>Momentum fueled his attack before it could face him, and his spear thrust clean through the monster’s back. Its wounded howl pierced the air, and its looming form stumbled backwards. Aegis wrung his weapon with a white-knuckled grip and swiped it skywards with all his might.</p><p><em>“</em> <b> <em>Crashing Lance!</em> </b> <em>”</em></p><p>The blazing spearhead sliced through flesh and bone like they were made of paper, rending the monster’s torso in two.</p><p>The sound of the beast's dying keens rumbled through him. It quivered on its hindlegs in one last desperate flail, then its severed body gave out and came crumbling down around him. Dark azure mana sprayed over him as the monster’s body dissipated, and it took all of Aegis’s strength to keep his shaking legs from collapsing under him just the same. The tip of Wavering Heart dipped to the ground as his shoulders sagged into a hunched form.</p><p>Aegis looked down at the weapon clenched in his hands, its crimson blaze tapering into a duller glow. Then he raised his head to the stunned faces of his allies.</p><p>“Wow… That was…” Kanata was the first to break the deafening silence. He hesitated, staring at Aegis with wide shining eyes and both hands balled into tight fists. Aegis held his breath, until a grin dawned on the boy’s features and he sprinted to stand at his side. “That was so <em>cool!</em> You have got to show me how to do that!”</p><p>Misella followed close behind Kanata. “Thanks for helping us,” was all she offered, but a small smile adorned her otherwise weary expression. </p><p>“Mmm. Zat was quite ze performance, Aegrouch.” Yuna made no move to approach him as the two children dotting either side of him had. She merely looked him up and down with her arms crossed, then raised an eyebrow at him. “Do try to look less like you are ready to strike us down as well, <em>oui?”</em></p><p>Awareness caught up to Aegis, slowly but so painfully surely. He looked back down at himself— his knees spread and bent, his spear locked in a death grip, his entire body lurched forward and prepared to hurl into another savage attack at a moment’s notice. He looked no different than a beast on the prowl, with his bared claws turned toward those he considered <em>friends</em>.</p><p>He felt that pang in his chest again, and quickly relaxed his stance. His grip on Wavering Heart loosened and it dissolved into a familiar wisp of mana that curled between his fingers, but the heat of its power in his hands remained even after the last spark faded out. “Ah… S-Sorry,” He mumbled, just barely loud enough for his companions to hear.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Vicious staring at him. He watched him like a hawk down to his every movement, his tongue uncharacteristically held. Aegis expected him to chime in with the usual crude remark, but it never came. </p><p>It unsettled him. Aegis shook his head and turned his back to the man, as though that would shield him from the sharpness of his gaze.</p><p>“We have to go<em>, now</em>,” he finally proclaimed, and started toward the edge of the forest before anyone could protest. The knights were on the move, and he’d already wasted enough time toying with that measly beast.</p><p>“Huh? Wait wait, go <em>where?”</em> Kanata asked, then chased after Aegis when he offered no response to his baffled question. He grabbed him by the arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Aegis, what’s the matter? You’re acting weird.”</p><p><em>What’s the matter? </em>There were a thousand ways he could answer that question; from the visions that haunted every corner of Medagal, to the knights stomping onward like oiled machines, to that relentless <em>burning</em> in his chest as he thought to every near and dear place that lay down the path they marched.</p><p>His arm tensed, readied to shake off Kanata’s grip, but Aegis paused to look into the murky blue eyes peering up at him. Concern clouded the boy’s normally bright shining gaze, narrowed under a furrowed brow and a tightly pulled pout. Aegis stood frozen in those eyes for a moment before he winced and lowered his head, escaping him to stare at the dirt beneath his boots.</p><p>“There… was something off about those knights,” he started, slowly. His bangs fell over his eyes, shadowing his expression. “I want— no, I <em>need</em> to follow after them.”</p><p>“What...? Do you think they were up to something?” The question was honest and dripping with worry, but it felt no different than a loaded gun pressed against Aegis’s throat.</p><p><em>I don’t know. I don’t know, Kanata, I </em><b><em>don’t</em></b>, he ached to scream out, but the words caught on the tip of his tongue, never to leave his lips. He shook his head instead, then yanked his arm out of his hold. Kanata was shocked, but his hand didn’t chase after him again even as Aegis drew further and further out of his reach.</p><p>Aegis ran, faster, faster, faster until his legs <em>ached</em>. He didn’t know if his companions were following after him— and in that moment he didn’t care. Not as long as he could look out at the clearing beyond and catch sight of that shade of prided blue that still hung heavy off his shoulders </p><p>He emerged, and saw nothing. Everywhere he looked was the glaring hue of the all-too blue sky above, but the fading cerulean of marching knights had long since vanished. </p><p>Rising panic fueled each turn of his head as he stared down the branching trails that laid before him. He stepped forward, a delicate, frantic thing carried by shaking legs and fists balled tight at his side. There <em>had</em> to be some trace of them. They couldn’t <em>possibly</em> be gone. But without a clue where the knights were headed beyond the vaguest direction of south, Aegis hadn’t any idea which of the many winding roads of Medagal he should run down. </p><p>“Aegis, wait up!” Kanata’s cry echoed loudly in his head. The sound of racing footsteps coming up behind him followed soon after, and Aegis spun sharp on his heel to face his comrades.</p><p>“We— we <em>have</em> to find them,” he sputtered, winded as he still fought to catch his breath. He clenched his jaw when no one made any move to act; they just pinned him down with those <em>maddening</em> stares full of concern that made his blood boil. “Don’t just stand there! S-Split up! Pick a direction and search! <b><em>Now!</em></b><strong><em>”</em></strong></p><p>The fervent order rang through the air, but no one moved to carry out Aegis’s mad whims.</p><p>“No way. You’re just going to get us all lost if you storm off in a tantrum,” Misella chided him.</p><p>“Misella’s right. You really need to calm down…” Kanata started cautiously toward him to close the distance between them. Aegis visibly prickled at his advances, and he hiked up his shoulders high and guarded.</p><p>They didn’t know the precious smiling faces that flashed behind his eyes with every thread of fear that spilled over his heart. They didn’t know the whiskey-scented laughter that curled around him, tighter and tighter until it wrung the air from his lungs. They didn’t know, but Aegis couldn't form the words on his fumbling tongue to tell them.</p><p>He didn’t have time to. He had to find them.</p><p>“I <em>am</em> calm,” he spat his words like they were venom, his heart thundering against his ribcage to call his bluff. “But fine! If none of you will help, I’ll just do it myself!” Then he swirled away from them to set down a path, <em>any path</em>; it didn’t matter as long as he gave chase.</p><p>He felt Vicious’s eyes searing holes through his back, quiet— still so <em>terribly</em> quiet.</p><p>“You ‘ave no idea where zose knights were going, <em>non</em>? You’re only embarking on a fool’s errand to chase zem so blindly,” Yuna read him like an open book and Aegis flinched, stopping dead before he could even get his feet off the ground. He glanced back to see her hand lift, pointing a long finger down the path just behind them. “Zey must ‘ave passed through ze town we bypassed earlier, with ‘ow close it was to ze capital. Per’aps we can ask around zere for a clue where zey were ‘eaded? Information gathering <em>is</em> my expertise.”</p><p>A lump grew thick in Aegis’s throat. “That’s... <em>ridiculous</em>. We cannot possibly just waltz into a town this close to the capital while I’m in uniform. The people living there will recognize me in an instant.” <em>As the very man who murdered their queen— perhaps not as directly as they were led to believe, but his fault all the same</em>. The thought burned in the back of his mind bright like the fire in his chest, impossible to ignore.</p><p>“Oh! Hang on, I know just the thing,” Kanata said, then took to the party’s knapsack. Out from the bag came three long hooded cloaks clutched in his hands, then proudly presented to Aegis. “I don’t have enough for all of us, but Misella and I can wait outside town and keep a lookout.” </p><p>Aegis gaped at them. They were garish things, wrinkled and fraying at the seams. Donning them would surely make him stand out just as much as the knight commander’s uniform, although for entirely different reasons. </p><p>But with every moment he wasted, the knights drew further away. If there was any chance the townspeople knew anything, then perhaps they could silence that hammering fear that beaded sweat down his brow and stretched his eyes wide and frenzied.</p><p>He snatched one of the cloaks out of Kanata’s hand, then hastily wrapped it around his figure. The hood hung low over his head, and he shot a shadowy glare at Yuna and Vicious still fumbling with their own ‘disguises’. </p><p>“Let’s <em>go,</em>” he barked, then took off toward the town.</p><p>If any hope resided in that town, then there wasn’t a second to waste.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The town they arrived in was quiet; a relatively small place with only a few people wandering the streets. The townspeople were scattered out, each keeping to themselves with their breath held and heads tucked low. None turned to look when three cloaked figures tore through their gates, even as the boy in the lead suddenly hunched over and gasped to catch his breath.</p><p>Stinging pain pulsated through Aegis’s veins, but he wiped the sweat from his brow and forced himself upright a moment later. </p><p>Vicious’s eyes were upon him again, like twin knives flaying him with each stare he pinned to his back. He hadn’t said a word since Aegis slayed the beast in the woods, but the Great Transgressor’s gaze never once left him. He felt it stuck on him even as they raced as fast as they could to the town, and sharpened violet pierced him just the same when Aegis whipped around to face him with curses fresh on his lips.</p><p>“<em>Why</em> do you keep staring at me like that?!” He finally snapped, his teeth bared in a grimace.</p><p>Vicious’s lips curled into a half-smirk, and he spoke the first words he had since he sent a bullet singing past Aegis’s head. “What, a guy can’t admire a pretty face no more? You’re a real looker when yer all riled up, y’know.”</p><p>Aegis’s face heated up, and he wasn’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment that burned the hottest. <em>He was mocking him.</em> Well-kept secrets laid blatant in those harsh eyes that bore through him, but Aegis had no time to pick them apart through his juvenile deflections. He gritted his teeth and looked away, that stare far too heavy for him to hold.</p><p>“Reconvene back here if you find anything,” he rushed out the order, then split off from the two. </p><p>They spread out to different sections of the town. Yuna took to the housing areas, while Vicious slogged his way over to the inn with a complaint written on his face. Aegis sprinted toward the marketplace, and he caught every person that lingered the area with hurried questions spilling from his mouth.</p><p>Each person he met was the same. They took in his suspicious appearance with a wry expression, then turned pale as a ghost the moment he mentioned the knights. <em>‘They marched through town not long ago’</em>, they all told him, their answers precise as clockwork, <em>‘but I don’t know where they were headed.</em>’</p><p>His head swam with each dead end he reached. This was <em>pointless</em>. If only everyone had cooperated with Aegis’s order to split up and search, they would have surely found the knights by now; much faster than their fruitless detour was taking, at the very least. He had half a mind to turn tail and leave, but he scanned the area in one last desperate search for a glimpse of hope.</p><p>A tall woman turned away from a farmer’s stall at the other end of the market, affluently dressed with a pouch of goods hung over her shoulder. She stood out like a sore thumb against the commonfolk of the town, nearly as jarring as Aegis was shrouded from head to toe. From her wealthy appearance to the way her head turned calmly to the next stall en route, Aegis deduced that she must have been one of the merchants he had often seen in the capital, likely in town for trade.</p><p>That fleeting spark of hope shined right before his eyes in the glimmer of fine jewelry strung around her neck, and he wasted no time in rushing over to her.</p><p>“P-Pardon me, ma’am?” Aegis stopped before the merchant, swallowing down every foul emotion that was stuck lodged in his throat to stand straight and courteous. Instinctively his arm twitched to tap a fist over his heart in salute to a woman of her stature, but he caught himself in the act before he could.</p><p>The woman narrowed her eyes at him and scanned him up and down, then her face twisted into a scowl. “Can I <em>help </em>you, sir?” she asked, nothing short of repulsed.</p><p>After flailing about the town like a fish out of water in the height of desperation, Aegis had nearly forgotten just how <em>ridiculous</em> he looked enshrouded in a peasant’s cloak. The intensity in the woman’s glare was a harsh reminder, and he couldn’t help but fumble with the edges of his disguise to better cover the eloquent cuffs of his sleeves beneath.</p><p>“Y-Yes, actually... I saw a rather large squadron of knights passing through the area, and I was wondering if you might know where they were headed."</p><p>From the way the woman raised her brows and pursed her lips, it was evident his question only provoked her suspicions further. “And why would such information interest you?”</p><p>Aegis bit down on his lip with almost enough force to draw blood.</p><p>“My… comrades and I are travelers,” he started clumsily, racking his brain for any manner of a <em>believable</em> excuse as he spoke. <em>If only Yuna was there to help</em>. “We were headed in the same direction as those knights, so... I wanted to stop in town to make sure our paths won’t cross along the way and interfere with their duty.”</p><p>The merchant peered at him with hooded eyes, as though trying to assess his claim through looks alone. Seconds dragged by painstakingly slow as Aegis kept his breath held, standing still as a statue in her gaze until a quiet <em>‘hmph’</em> finally rumbled in her throat and out her nose.</p><p>“I’ve heard that the knights are off on an operation to a poor village not far from here, as my network was ordered to clear the area.” She paused to raise two fingers to the side of her mouth, tipping her head to the side in thought. “They were headed to a village called... <em>Laphel</em>, if I recall.”</p><p>His heart stopped. His vision blurred. The world fell around him.</p><p><em>Laphel</em>.</p><p>Before his eyes were children running down skinny dirt trails, kicking up clouds of dust in their wake with vibrant laughter singing in their lungs, echoing in his head. They raced past tight-knit shacks that lined the streets, casting long shadows over their faces under the blinding noontime sun above.</p><p>Just as bright was a motherly smile, her kind face framed by tumbles of snow-white curls. Her soft hand cupped his cheek, fingers curling under his eyes to wipe away tears that clung to long lashes, just as she always did, <em>just as always</em>. At her side was a tall man with wind-tossed ashen hair and eyes warm like the sunset, smiling just the same. His palm splayed over his shoulder and he could still feel his touch, distant as a ghost.</p><p>Aegis’s chest hurt. A red-hot brand pressed smoldering into his ribcage, burning, burning, <em>burning— </em>he didn’t know why it burned so bad as his heart pounded deafeningly, dulling his senses until all he knew was <em>pain</em>. He teetered on unsteady legs, breaths quickening, faster and faster but there was never enough air to fill his lungs.</p><p><em>They wouldn’t. They </em> <b> <em>couldn’t.</em> </b></p><p>The smile lingered behind his eyes as darkness closed in on him, encroaching blackness leaking through the corners of his vision in the shape of his worst nightmare.</p><p>“You’d best keep your distance if you’re headed that way,” he felt the merchant’s voice continue more than he heard it, shaking his body like tremors down his skin. “I’ve heard rumors the village has been housing a transgressor… They say it’s very one responsible for the passing of the late Queen Rebecca.” </p><p>
  <b> <em>No. No, no, no, no. That’s not possible.</em> </b>
</p><p>He was going to be sick. Bile stung the back of his throat as his stomach churned, his head spinning until the sights before him were little more than a blur of indistinguishable color. His hand shot to his chest, no longer a care left when treacherous blue revealed itself beneath the cover of tattered brown. He dug his fingers through layers of suffocating fabric right over his heart, clawing into the stained skin beneath as the <em>burning, the burning just wouldn’t </em><b><em>stop</em></b><b>.</b></p><p>How could they— how could <em>anyone</em> know of his relation to that village? It was a quiet place, <em>always so quiet</em>; the people keeping to themselves as long, laborious days dragged on. They never did anything wrong, living each and every day as best they could with what little they had.</p><p>It didn’t make any sense.</p><p><em>There must be some kind of a mistake… there </em><b><em>has</em></b><em> to be. This can’t possibly be real,</em> he thought faintly, no brighter than a lantern flickering in the dense fog that crawled over his mind.</p><p>“How vile… I thought that man long since had his justice served. I do hope the knights give those people exactly what they deserve.” She was speaking still, but Aegis hardly heard her. Her voice was singing steel against his skull, screeching in tongues beyond his comprehension. His knees felt weak, the weight crashing over him more than they could ever hope to hold.</p><p>
  <b> <em>This can’t be real.</em> </b>
</p><p>Aegis felt his tongue fumble through a string of syllables— likely some broken semblance of a thanks for the woman’s help— but he couldn’t hear his own voice even as it spilled from his mouth. He wasn’t sure if he managed to finish his sentence before he was moving, his legs thoughtlessly breaking into a run before his mind had time to catch up to his body.</p><p>There was no time to waste.</p><p>Aegis barreled through the once-quiet town, stumbling over his own two feet, oblivious to any of the looks or words that chased after him. The town gate came into sight before long, spotted with the four colors of his fellow transgressors. He saw the waiting group jump to attention as the distance between them grew smaller, but he didn’t stop running— not for a second, not even for them. There were voices echoing in his ear, his allies no doubt shouting for him, but he didn’t listen.</p><p>Then there was a blur of lavender and pink— <em>Kanata and Misella,</em> he sluggishly realized— moving to stand in his way. They stood close together in front him, their arms spread out in a makeshift wall of small bodies that blocked his path to freedom.</p><p>“Aegis, what’s wrong?!” Kanata’s cry breached the fog that hung over his mind. It slammed into Aegis hard enough to bring him to a sudden halt, his boots skidding on the pavement and stopping just before he could crash into the boy.</p><p>“Why are you in such a hurry? Did something happen?” Misella asked, the worry in her voice so painfully sincere.</p><p>Aegis’s eyes darted between the two children, his body quaking, begging him louder than sound to <em>move, move, forget about them you have to </em><b><em>move</em></b><em>.</em></p><p>“I— They—” he panted, desperately grasping for a solid thought in the whirlwind that spun his mind. His voice was like cotton stuffed in his throat, suffocating him until he could hardly utter a word. “The… the knights… Th-they’re…”</p><p>That warm smile flashed again in his eyes, eclipsing the worried faces all around him. Aegis squeezed his eyes shut against it— everything in him <em>burned</em>, too much to be real, too much for him to bear.</p><p>“They’re headed to my hometown.”</p><p>He heard his comrades gasp, and more ceaseless questions pelted him in sounds he could barely understand. He didn’t <em>want</em> to understand. There was no time to listen, no time to talk; not when the knights could arrive at Laphel at any moment. They would march in a streak of merciless cerulean down the dirt-paved trails, and from there they would—</p><p>From there Aegis didn’t want to think of what might happen. He couldn’t, lest his frantic heart beating right out of his chest shatter into a million razor shards.</p><p>Those <em>eyes </em>were on him again, again— <em>why did he keep looking at him like that?</em> They were like talons of cruel violet digging deep through the barrier of flesh, reaching straight into his soul. </p><p>His heart pounded. The fire in his chest roared hotter.</p><p>“We— we don’t have any time. Everyone, <b><em>move out!</em></b><em><strong>”</strong></em> Aegis shouted the order as loud as he could muster. His feet kicked off the ground, and he charged forward the moment Kanata and Misella parted to clear the way.</p><p>Before he could make it far at all a hand locked tight around his bicep, and the fire within him erupted.</p><p>It wasn’t Kanata, it wasn’t Misella— it could only be Vicious, his grip strong and rough and <em>scalding</em>. It felt as though all of Aegis’s nerve endings were set alight at once the second he touched him, sparking scorching pain down every inch of his body. Aegis threw his head back, the hood falling from his face, and it took all he had to bite back a scream.</p><p>“Ya need to get a hold of yourself.” Vicious’s voice was low, sharper than his eyes and more unbearable than his touch. It made Aegis dizzy and his legs grew weak beneath him, but the fury that boiled in his blood kept him standing.</p><p>He didn’t know anything— <em>how could someone like him possibly understand what it felt like to fear for a </em><b><em>home</em></b><em>.</em></p><p>Aegis turned all that heat and then some back onto Vicious in a glare full of hellfire.</p><p><b><em>“Unhand me!” </em></b>he snarled and yanked his arm as hard as he could against Vicious’s vice grip. He wouldn’t let him go but Aegis didn’t stop fighting, and he forced all of his weight forward on his feet.</p><p>The clasp on his cloak strained against the pull of fabric as he tugged, until it finally gave way and tore at the seams. It fell from his shoulders and Aegis ran spilling out of Vicious’s fingers, with only a trail of billowing brown fabric left clenched in his hands.</p><p>He ran, and ran, and <em>ran</em>. </p><p>Aegis didn’t once look back to see if his comrades followed after him as he raced down the road ahead, his legs falling into the rhythm of that familiar route he always trekked years so long ago. All he could do was run, his body thundering, his soul sweltering, a futile prayer hot on his tongue.</p><p>
  <b> <em>Please, please let me get there in time. Let them be safe. Please. Please…</em> </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed and are excited for more!!! here's a fun fact in the meantime: I hate naming things so when I was trying to think of a random town name to slap on aegis's hometown I was just kinda staring at him like hm......... Aegis your quilted lapels are so cute........... AH. LAPEL............ LAPHEL! PERFECT LET'S USE THAT AS A NAME</p></blockquote></div></div>
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